TV Hates Me Today

That's actually probably a good thing. Over the last few months, the TV and I have developed a close bond. I think it's an unhealthy relationship actually... But I've been trying to branch out and find other things to occupy myself.

Today I woke up and decided I wanted to go for a swim. Well.. It's actually less of a swim and more of an aqua jog. Swimming stretches my belly out in ways that don't feel right, so I'm glad I discovered this alternative. Water is my friend. It takes all the pressure that being pregnant puts on my body. The longer I can spend in water, the better. haha. Anyways... I did an hour of that and then sat in the warm teach/kiddie pool for a good 45 minutes. The teach pool is prime people watching territory. haha.

Whenever I do some level of physical activity, it totally wipes me out for the rest of the day. Since I'm pregnant, I feel justified in lounging around for the remainder of the day and that's just what I've been doing. haha.

So. Back to my original train of thought. Lounging is only so enjoyable when you don't have anything to keep you entertained. Lately the TV in the living room has been wigging out. I don't know what's wrong with it and it was really frustrating me because it was preventing me from watching The Bachelorette and SYTYCD Canada. I got hooked on the Bachelor last season... and since they announced who the Bachelorette was gonna be this season, I was like... awww crap... Now that I actually know a little bit about the girl I HAVE to watch this season too. haha. But I couldn't watch either of them!!! The channel the Bachelorette was on was all choppy and kept on cutting out on the audio and the channel SYTYCD was on wasn't even working. And you can only check Facebook and Twitter so many times before you realize there's not gonna be any significant amount of updates.

I decided I should just go on a short little drive then. Drives are enhanced in when it's summer too. Then you can drive with the window down, and have some good music on. Ahhh... Awesome.

When I got back home, I find my mom sprawled out on the floor and I realized she was on the phone with the TV people trying to fix the problem. haha. My mom is awesome. I have no idea what the outcome of that phone call was, because I just went into my room. I have a TV in there, so I turned it on and lo and behold... the last 30 minutes of SYTYCD. Turns out the TV in my room is fine. It's just the big living room TV that's messed up.

What's even better is that I'll actually be able to watch The Bachelorette now. When I was trying to watch it earlier, it was on a channel broadcast from Toronto that we only get on the big TV. My parents got it so they can watch prime time shows at 6:00 instead of 9:00. haha. So the stars aligned, and I'm being blessed for my efforts to keep healthy today. I guess the TV doesn't hate me.

...but I should probably start to spend more time in the beautiful sun...

Oh Internet...

I clearly didn't give enough credit to the internet for its efficiency yesterday. haha. It took all of four hours for the link to my last blog entry to get to the person it was all about. Now I'm not nearly naive enough to believe that nobody would know who or what I was talking about. Anyone who knows me really well would have understood immediately. What I wasn't expecting was anything to actually happen (maybe THAT was naive...). It never occurred to me that someone would get in contact with that person, no matter how close they were with them. The whole reason for that post was that I just needed to rant and get it out there. My main motivation wasn't to just see what would happen though. I'm the kind of person that when I write things out, it helps me feel at peace. I can write something down and move on with it, because I feel through writing, all my frustrations are released. And yes... I guess there was still a part of me that hoped that maybe someday, something might be resolved because of it... since you know... it's on a public blog and all. But that was still a far off possibility as far as I was concerned.

So yesterday out of the blue, hours after posting, I get an email from that person with the subject line "read your blog post"

..............................................................................................................

Immediate dread... Uh oh... This could either be really good or really bad. So I continued with caution.

To my delight, the email was all positive. It stated how that person has been feeling the same kind of things and just like me, couldn't figure out how to approach the whole thing because of their uncertainty of my feelings. haha. What a gong show eh??

So in the end it worked out pretty well. We've been able to talk directly a little bit and at least break the ice again. I feel so liberated! I no longer have to feel restricted with who I can socialize with just because of the presence of another person. Life can resume normally in ALL situations. Yay!!! So thank you to the person that sent the link on and as a result, helped everything to get to where it needed to be. I have awesome, loving friends.

Awkward Situations

Normally I'm pretty good in social situations... but then there's some times when I just don't know what to do because there's one person there I don't know how to interact with. It's not that I have anything against this person at all. It's just that there's a significant history behind the two of us and it didn't really have a clean ending. The ending was necessary, but it just didn't happen under the best of terms. Now I'm over it, things have moved on and I hold no animosity whatsoever.

For the most part life moves on and nothing really happens to remind me of any of this. However, there are the odd occasions when I happen to be in the same place as this person. That in itself is perfectly fine by me. It just gets awkward because we have a bunch of mutual friends.

I was faced with this today. There were a couple of my friends at an event I was at and I was excited to see them, but they were already with this other person. I don't know how to handle situations like this. Do I just ignore everything and go join the group? I have no idea if that's even appropriate. On the one hand, I just don't wanna deal with any direct awkwardness, so I stay away. On the other hand, since I have no unresolved lingering issues, I think that it shouldn't be that big of a deal if I did walk over and join my friends even with they're already with this person. But I don't know how the other person feels and if there's any unresolved issues on that person's side. I don't wanna be responsible for stirring something up that doesn't need to be. It's that uncertainty that keeps me from confronting anything that could possibly resolve the awkwardness.

Really I think all of this is silly. I shouldn't feel restricted with who I talk to just because they're around someone else... I want all of this to go away. It's a huge elephant in the room, and I can't stand being in situations where that's the case. In my perfect world, I'd be able to talk to this person, tell them everything is okay and that I'm not angry and be able to go on with life normally. It's not that I want anything to be the way it was, but I at least want some level of normality when we just happen to be in the same place. None of this walking on eggshells business.

In the end, I still can't figure out how to confront any of this, so I don't. Things will continue to go on awkwardly, and I'll continue to pretend like I don't notice. I think it's dumb, but I don't know what else to do.

Things To Look Forward To

In my efforts to prevent myself from completely drowning in self pity, I've decided to come up with a list of  upcoming events to look forward to that'll pull me through to when I see my husband again.

1. Meeting my baby

Now I already know that this kid is gonna be cute beyond anything I've ever seen in my life. But I'm excited to be able to see who he looks like. I'm pretty sure he's gonna look like Ray. From what I've seen with his brothers and his nephew, the "Whitcomb look" is pretty prominent in the boys. I'm okay with that. My husband is the most handsome man ever, so to have a son who looks like him is gonna be a joy. Then I'll have two of the most handsome men ever in my home. Let's just hope he's got more of my personality. haha.

2.

The other day I nonchalantly mentioned to my mom that the musical "Wicked" was coming to town and that if she happened to want to by a couple tickets that I'd be her date. haha. I sure wasn't expecting it when she came home a couple days ago and asked me what I was doing on August 6 in the afternoon. Turns out she wanted to see it more than I thought because she bought us matinee tickets. WOOT!!! I've heard so many good things about this musical, so I'm really REALLY excited to be able to see it for myself. Up until now, I've just had to listen to the random songs I find from it and try to put the story together for myself. It'll be great to have everything cleared up!

3. 

So I THINK I'm going to this concert. My friend said she got a couple tickets for her birthday and asked me if I wanted to go with her. Of course I said yes! I'm just hoping that offer is still on the table... haha... I don't know why it wouldn't be, but I've still got my fingers crossed. There's something about the Backstreet Boys that brings out the 15 year old screamer within. I went through a New Kids on the Block phase too, but I was too little to actually be able to go to a concert when they were at their prime. So now I get to see New Kids for the first time ever and BSB for the... fourth time... haha. I am NOT ashamed. I think it's hilarious that I'll be almost 8 months pregnant for this concert. I'm awesome. Also, Boys II Men is opening from what I hear. The night couldn't be any more boy band filled if they tried!

4. Clarke and Cecilia's first baby! Now I don't have a picture of them all cute and pregnant... That needs to be fixed. Cecilia's got a huge, perfectly round basketball belly. She's due in less than a month and that'll be my first actual blood related niece/nephew! Yay!!!

5.

So I'm not the most avid baseball fan ever, but summers in Edmonton mean evenings at baseball games. There's just something about spending only $10 for a ticket, sitting out in the sun, getting some awful/awesome stadium food and watching a game with friends. I took Ray to a game last year and he ended up loving the experience more than he thought he would. See?? You don't even have to like baseball to enjoy being at a game!

6.

Summers in Edmonton ALSO mean amazing summer festivals! The Fringe Festival is just one of them, but it's got to be one of the best. It's full of street performers, independent vendors selling amazing handmade stuff, awful/awesome festival food and a bunch of plays. The festival season should be starting right away, so I'll be able to go to those and be in a crowd full of happy people and get some time in the sun while I'm at it. I like being entertained, and summer festivals here never fail to provide great entertainment.

7. Getting maternity benefits. I'm excited to start getting paid for growing a baby. I'm greatly lacking in funds these days, so it'll be nice to have that help. This is why Canada is awesome.

8.

...enough said...

So I think that should help me make it through these next couple months. Also... I talked to my doctor about the whole timing thing with having my baby. I know it's not up to me when this baby decides to come, but I kinda need to have SOME control over it because Ray will have to plan his travels accordingly. Thankfully my doctor understands, and she said that she'll have to keep monitoring my progress, but right now she doesn't see any reason why she couldn't induce me on the due date of September 3. So as long as my baby doesn't decide to come freakishly early, it should be relatively well organized with Ray coming up here for the birth. Then we'll have some time together as a family. My parents decided on a whim to go to Vegas from Sept 6-13 so that'll give my brand new little family some much needed alone bonding time. That also means that my baby has to be born before Sept 6. All the more reason to be induced.

I know I know. Getting induced isn't the most ideal situation, but considering the whole time restriction thing, there isn't really any way to get around it... Besides... the less likely it is for me to be overdue, the better!

Anyways... That's my list of things to be excited for which should help me get through this summer and until I see my man again. Let the enduring commence...

Reality

It's finally sunk in.. I'm back in Canada and my life of loneliness commences. Blah... This is making me even more excited to have my baby. At least then I'll have a little one to keep me occupied. I guess he's keeping me semi occupied right now with all of this moving going on in my belly. It's kinda cool/slightly gross to watch my belly do all sorts of weird wobbles and twitching.

I try to get out every day which I think is doing me good, but it kinda gets old going out by myself all the time. I also have significantly less energy so I'm not really able to stay out all day anyways. By no means am I trying to seclude myself. My friends here are awesome and I try to see them regularly, but the reality of it is that I still spend more time by myself than I do with anyone else. Quite frankly, being lonely sucks.

I know you're prolly thinking that I should just put more effort into finding people to spend time, but that's not really the solution to the loneliness I'm feeling. Really, that void can only be filled by my husband. So I can spend time with my friends and it's always a good time, but it's not near as fulfilling as doing things with my friends AND my husband. I found that even when I was in Colorado and Ray was out working, even though we weren't physically together, it was the mere fact that we were within reach of each other that kept me from feeling this lonely feeling. Thankfully I get to hear from him every day so we can keep each other updated with our daily happenings. That's better than nothing and it helps me feel more involved in his day to day life.

As far as immigration is going... I've sent in all the documents they require from me. I had to send in original copies of my birth and marriage certificates though. That's kinda scary, but I called the immigration people and they said that I'll get them right back after the final interview. It's just a matter of when that's happening. Ray's still in the process of gathering all the stuff needed for his end of the paperwork with proving he makes enough money/has sufficient assets so that the government knows I won't be a welfare case. It's proving to be more difficult and complicated than I originally thought it would be though so I'm pretty stressed out about it. I can't do anything about it either, which makes it even worse. I just have to sit back and hope that Ray's able to get everything resolved in a timely manner. Then once he's got it all figured out and sent in, I'll be able to schedule and interview at the Consulate in Montreal. By then I'll have my baby too, so it'll be interesting travelling with a tiny baby. I asked my best friend if she'd wanna come with me though and it didn't take much convincing at all, so at least I know I'll have a babysitter. haha.

This whole immigration thing is getting really old. I know I need to be optimistic. I really try to be... but sometimes you just have to throw yourself a pity party and have a little cry fest and that provides the strength to make it to the next time a pity party and cry fest is in order... Sigh... I miss having a home to take care of and a husband to impress and to spend time doing nothing together... I'd take doing nothing with my husband over doing nothing by myself any day.

This is where I remind myself that this is only gonna last a few more months and then I never have to spend an extended period of time away from my husband again. *repeat until hope is restored...*....

Ugh......

Project Seedless Raspberry Jam

The other day my mom mentioned to me that I should make some jam out of the raspberries that grew in our backyard last year and have been in the freezer ever since. I decided that was a great idea, except for the whole jam part because that implies that I leave the annoying raspberry seeds in it. I HATE raspberry seeds... A LOT... So I found a solution. Since my mom is super crafty and just has stuff, she had a jam strainer thingy so I could filter all the nasty seeds out and make a seedless jam!!! Well.. I guess it's more of a jelly then, but still! WOOT!!! NO SEEDS!!!!

It was actually a lot easier than I expected it to be. Making jam seems like such a daunting task. It just SOUNDS hard, but I discovered that's a lie. Jam is easy to make, so come this summer when peaches are better, watch out! I'll be a lean mean peach jam making machine. Peach is my favorite. haha. But for now, seedless raspberry jelly will suffice.

Now all I have to do is actually TRY it. haha. Guess what I'm having for breakfast tomorrow!!

Let Me Explain

So I guess people are confused as to why I still have to be in Canada and Ray still has to be in Colorado. Makes sense... I haven't really explained that part so well. So this is what the deal is.

We're ALMOST finished with this silly immigration process. But that doesn't necessarily mean we knowWHEN it will be finished. At this point we're gathering some final paperwork to submit to the National Visa Center. Ray has to submit a form saying that he's making enough income and has enough assets to satisfy the US Government that I'm not gonna be their responsibility (ie. on welfare). Ray meets the requirements, so it's just a matter of gathering the papers to say so. He needs a letter from his employer stating his income, and he needs documentation of the the property he owns. He should be able to get all that together relatively soon.

Meanwhile, I have to collect my entire life's history and send that to the National Visa Center. So that means I have to submit my birth certificate, a police background check, marriage license, photos, passport photocopy, blah blah blah. I pretty much have all that together, so I just need to get that in the mail. Well.. Not the mail. Canada Post is on a full on strike so mail isn't getting delivered anywhere. Thank you Fed Ex/UPS/whoever's cheapest. Anyways... That's on my immediate to do list.

Once all the paperwork is received, I'll be contacted 6 weeks later and they'll schedule an interview that I have to go to at the US Consulate in Montreal. They need to interview me to make sure that our relationship is legit. That's right... I have to prove that I'm in love. It's not like the good ol days when you could move right on into the US if you married an American. Nope. Too many people have screwed with the system to have it be so simple. That and the whole 9/11 thing have made things a lot more complicated for people like me. But honestly. I couldn't be intimidating or suspicious even if I tried...

The unknown time factor is because we don't know how far in advanced the US Consulate books interviews. For all I know, it could be right away, or it could be months in advance. We'll find out when we get to that point I guess... I'm just hoping it'll all be done before Christmas.

Thankfully, Ray will be able to come up to Canada around my due date, and if all goes well he'll be here for the birth and for a little bit afterwards to give us all time to bond as a family. So as much as all this waiting sucks, at least we have the essentials covered... This baby needs his daddy and with hope, faith, and prayer, that'll happen ASAP.

So that's all.. I hope that clears things up for you!

The Inevitable

Well the unfortunate day has come... I'm leaving Colorado... And I'm not happy about it...

Thankfully this day hasn't sucked and I've only cried a little bit. I think Ray made a conscious effort to keep this day awesome. We slept in, which is always a good thing, and then spent the morning cuddling and laughing. I made french toast for breakfast, and we spent the afternoon picking up baby things from generous people who didn't need the stuff anymore. I am happy to announce that we now have all necessary furniture required for a baby room. And we got it all for free. WOOT!!!

My flight is leaving at 9:20 PM so we planned on getting me to the airport by 7:00, because we all know how much fun that is...

We left Colorado Springs at around 3:00, after stopping by the Mexican place to get a big huge thing of Horchata for each of us, and then the pizza place to get an awesome cheesy bread to have on the drive down to Denver. We drove on a back road that went through a beautiful place called Palmer Lake. Ray said he'd like to own land there one day and I'm totally okay with it.

When we got to Denver, we stopped by at a friends place because we still had about an hour left before I had to be at the airport. They got married just after we did, and Ray's been good friends with them for a long time, so it was nice to go to a welcoming home and being able to talk and laugh together. It definitely helped me take my mind off of the ensuing crappiness...

But alas, the time came and we were off to the airport. We were silent the whole way there, but we just held each others hands the whole way down. Once we got there, Ray took out my bags for me and we hugged and kissed goodbye. Ray was definitely stronger than me and helped me look forward to the future to take my mind off of the sadness. He's an amazing husband. He told me to be strong and I told him I would and that I would keep busy growing this baby of ours. haha.

So now I'm sitting at the gate to board the plane. It should happen in about 10 minutes...

I didn't take as many pictures as I should have and didn't really think about it until today. So Ray and I took a couple together just because we make a really cute couple. :)

Ray saw this in the parking lot of the Mexican Restaurant. It's pretty!

Goodbye for now Colorado. You've been amazing.

I Thought I Left This In Arkansas

Ray and I had an interesting experience on Wednesday... He'd been out for something, and I was just chillin at home. When he came back, he had one of his friends with him that he had invited over for a little bit. Fine by me... until we all started talking...

Turns out this friend of his is going to a Christian College, that's VERY born again... Not that I have anything against Born Again Christians. All the power to them. If that's what keeps them going, then good for them. It's when it turns into an unprompted sermon, that I start having issues. So this guy started talking about how he's going to this College, and he's learning sooo much about Christ, and I was like "Good for you man", but then it turned out to be this two hour long preaching session. I mean... This guy wouldn't stop... Ray and I were literally being pushed into a corner having to listen to this guy go on and on and on with scripture references and contradictory doctrines... I was going insane.

This is something I haven't experienced since my mission in Arkansas. It was totally like I was in the middle of a bash where I wasn't allowed to say anything again. But he kept on saying things and gesturing that he wanted us to agree, but I don't want him to think that we believe the same things he does when we actually don't. I made it clear that Ray and I are Christians too because Christ is the foundation of everything we believe. But when he started talking about grace and being saved and not having to worry about sinning anymore... Oh man... That gets me fired up because I think it's silly and a total cop out for people who just don't wanna work hard at being good. But that is a soapbox I try to avoid getting on because I just end up getting mad and that's not Christ-like...

Anyways... So whenever this guy would want us to agree with him, I wouldn't if I didn't and I'd say my peace and let it be known what I believe, because I do NOT wanna be misunderstood or misrepresented. Especially when it comes to religion. I've got that aspect of my life figured out, and I hope that when I come across people who feel they have things equally as figured out, even if I don't agree, that I don't come across as pushy or preachy. I felt like I wasn't being rude to this guy, I was just making myself clear because it seemed as if he thought he was gonna convert Ray and I. I wanted to make sure that he knew where we stood, and I felt I did a relatively decent job.

This conversation was ridiculously drawn out though. I couldn't even figure out how the conversation even got to that point until after when I was trying to figure it out with Ray. Like I said, I respect people that are strongly devoted to what they believe, but there's a definite line separating a religious discussion that you both want and are equally interested in participating in, and a one sided conversation that makes the other person feel uncomfortable and disrespected. I felt uncomfortable and way disrespected. He even made us watch an Evangelical preacher online give a sermon... That's great that he's so excited about all this, but all I could think the whole time was that he was completely oblivious to our negative body language and the amount of talking he was doing. There was no escape... Finally Ray politely reminded the guy that he had an appointment to go to because he obviously wasn't watching the clock. Even then he doddled out of our place.

After he left Ray was really confused because when he had invited the guy over he said he could only come for a few minutes because he had stuff to do. Well he was definitely here for a lot longer than a few minutes...

I think this experience touched on two pet peeves of mine. 1. Overstaying your welcome, and 2. Showing no respect for what I believe in. 

I was all fired up after he left too. I was all ranting to Ray about how frustrating that was and how I thought I had left experiences like that behind when I left Arkansas. He thought it was funny that I was so worked up about it. He handled the whole thing pretty well. He was definitely more patient than I was with the guy. Ray just wanted a non-confrontational discussion, so in his mind he thought that if he didn't say anything to bring up more conversation that it would just end it. Whereas I didn't necessarily want confrontation, but I didn't want the guy leaving thinking that he had taught us things that we decided we believed in too just because of him. In the end, both of our efforts to end the conversation utterly failed, but Ray was proud of me for speaking up. He definitely saw a bit of how I was like on my mission... mind you... it wasn't necessarily the best missionary side of me.

Maybe I should prepare myself better for more experiences like that, especially while I'm in Colorado Springs... This place seems to be a mecca for Protestant religions. There's Christian Colleges, and plenty of denominations here. It's like a western South or something. I think once I'm here permanently and I meet more people in the community that I'll have a better feel for how things are here, and I can be better prepared to handle situations like this one more adequately...

I'm just glad I know what I know. Christ is my Savior. I try to live a Christ-like life, and I don't dismiss myself when I've made mistakes. I make a conscious effort to make my wrongs right again. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is simple, and if I read the scriptures and listen to the Living Prophet, all will be well and I will not be deceived. My hope is that I can be respectful and loving to those that try to prove me wrong. I know where I stand, and I will share what I know to those who want to listen, because I don't want people walking away from a conversation with me thinking that I was being forceful and disrespectful to their personal beliefs. 

Serving a mission was the best choice I could have ever made for myself. I feel like it taught me how to stand firm in my beliefs as well as being able to quickly and simply outline the foundation of my faith. I like to think that it helped me be more normal... haha... I like who I am and how I got to be this way.

www.mormon.org

Birthday Adventures

Don't worry. I'm alive. I just had a blogger vacation of sorts. Well... Not really one that I wanted. The day after my birthday I got sick. I'm pretty sure it was because of something I ate the night before, but it took me out of commission for a good couple days. Thankfully, I'm back to myself again... Minus the ever-increasingly-uncomfortable prego belly. haha. Speaking of which... For the last 4 or 5 days in a row this child had not stopped moving! It's constantly flinching and kicking and doing all sorts of weird things that makes my belly look like there's a legit alien in there. Ray loves it. He's convinced we've got a soccer player on our hands, and I'm convinced we've got a mini version of rambunctious childhood Ray coming along. I'm mentally preparing myself for a handful who I know I'll love beyond anything, but will also be the source of endless stories for the rest of my life. I suppose that's what being a parent is all about though. haha.

So my birthday. It started out at the midnight showing of X-Men Origins. haha. Don't judge me. Remember. I love Marvel comic book movies and this was no exception. It just so happened that the crew we made the Mario Cart video with was there too, so that was a nice surprise. I was pleased with the movie. I was also pleased when I got to finally go to bed when it was all over and by 3:00 AM, I was sound asleep.

In the morning, Ray let me sleep in. He knows me so well. I love my sleep and if there's an opportunity to get more, I'm all for it. So when I eventually got up and got ready, he took me out for lunch at Panera Bread, which is a delicious cafe type place that needs to be in Canada. Ray had some meetings to go to, so he dropped me off at DSW, aka shoe heaven. I found an amazing pair of glittery gold heels that were on sale and so it pretty much took away my agency and I bought them. haha. A girl can never have too many pairs of shoes. There's a poster in the store that'll back me up on that one.

Afterwards, I went to the nearby mall to kill a couple hours until Ray would be done, and I found myself inside a store full of baby things. I realized as I was looking at all the stuff that up until then I hadn't actually ever looked at baby things. It was a strange realization because I feel like I've already been pregnant forever and that looking at cute little things would have already happened. But it didn't, and as I was wandering around I realized how good of a job Ray has done at getting as much stuff as he can for the baby already. Turns out the only things we really need are clothes, a playpen, and diaper changing things. We've already got a bassinet, a crib, a high chair, a dresser, most all of the essential furniture. My husband is the best at getting things second hand. haha. All the power to him. It's saving us a lot of money! So that was an enjoyable experience. I think it made me even more excited to meet our little boy. Like I said before, I feel him in there constantly, so getting to hold him and dress him and learn his personality will be such a joy. And seriously. Newborn clothes are so adorably small!

I also found a place in the mall that sold bubble tea. Now. I LOVE bubble tea, but I have never had a successful experience with it anywhere outside of Canada, so each time I try a new place here I get nervous. This place looked like it had potential. An Asian dude was running the place and there were posters up that I couldn't understand. They even had lychee flavors, so that's what I got. Unfortunately but not surprisingly, I was disappointed. The drink was okay. It definitely had the right flavor, but it just wasn't right. It was too concentrated or something. The bubbles were also a disappointment. They were too big to fit in the straw. It's a problem I've never encountered before, but should have anticipated considering my previous experiences with bubble tea in the US. Oh well.. You live and you learn. Maybe one day I'll find a place that's as amazing as Dream Tea House...

By the time Ray picked me up, it was the middle of the afternoon, and I was beat! I just don't have the same strength I used to, so walking around a mall is far more taxing on me now. So surprise, surprise... I napped. haha.

That evening Ray had some sort of training meeting type thing to go to that he was asked to speak at, so he wanted me there to support him. I enjoy watching him speak in front of people to motivate them and help them do better. He's a natural at that type of stuff and people gravitate towards his enthusiasm. It makes me all proud and stuff to be his wife. haha.

There was an after party type thing at the big boss-man's house that we went to as well. This guy is living it up too. His house is huge, and we were only in the "basement". Complete with a pool table, ping pong table, bar, flat screen TV, and oh yeah... a theater room with two rows of reclining chairs. Yeesh. There was an x-box kinect hooked up to it too, so the boys were having lots of fun with that. I pretty much just chatted with other women that were there, and I thoroughly enjoyed myself.

I think the tacos I ate at Chipotle right before the after party were what made me sick though. I'm just glad to be better again.

The day after my birthday was also the 17th anniversary of my own baptism. I had to triple count to make sure that number was correct because I still don't think I'm old enough to have a 17th anniversary for anything. But alas... I'm 25 now and it's definitely a real thing.

Sunday was Stake Conference here. I still wasn't feeling super great, but I really wanted to go. Elder Neal Anderson of the Quorum of the Twelve was there to speak to us. It was definitely an opportunity I didn't wanna pass on. It was too hot for me to sit in the main area with all the people and it just made me feel even more sick, so I ended up sitting in the foyer on the couch for pretty much the entirety of the conference. After I didn't come back to sit next to Ray for a while, he came out to check on me and sat with me for the rest of it. I have the best husband ever. He shows his love for me so often and in such wonderful ways. I hope I show him as much appreciation as he deserves.

Since I was mostly just concentrating on not throwing up at conference, I didn't really get much out of it... I think I just need to be thankful that I was in the presence of an Apostle of the Lord, and I'm sure the spirit he has with him helped me more than I realize.

Afterwards, Ray took me on a drive up through the nearby mountains, which on any other day I would have loved. I appreciate the thought behind the gesture though. He knows how much I love mountains, and he even took me to a waterfall, which I love even more than mountains. But I wasn't feeling my best, so the drive was kind of painful since it was bumpy and it was stupid hot outside, and having the windows down offered no relief. A for effort though for Ray.

After a lengthy nap, I felt semi normal, and I knew that as long as I didn't push myself to do anything major I'd be fine. Good thing, because we'd been invited to dinner at the home Ray was staying at before he got his apartment here. The family is huge, but they're amazing. I guess the family is like a yours, mine, ours, and theirs type situation. It's a mixed family in every sense of the word, but they all seem to get along well and understand their place in that household. I was impressed. We stayed for a long time afterwards chatting and playing, and I think I needed that. Having something to take my mind off of feeling like crap is always a welcome event.

So now things are pretty much back to normal. Ray and I have to buckle down and get some paperwork finished up this week which will help the immigration process to move forward, and we'll go from there. Yeah... So things continue to be happy. I think this has been a relatively decent start to my 25th year. A quarter century as my loving husband constantly reminds me now. haha...

Happy Birthday To Me!!!

So I'm totally still in bed, but I'm looking forward to this day. Mostly because I get to spend it with my husband instead of being stuck back in Canada and all alone. That would be depressing...

Not sure what's on the agenda for today, but I plan to enjoy this day.

Happy quarter century birthday to me!!!

Today's An Important Day

I've been expanding my definition of happiness lately. Mostly due to awesome experiences and awesome people. Today I have a couple more things that I already knew brought me happiness, but it's been reiterated to me about how much happiness they actually bring me.

1. The Book of Mormon. I admit. My diligence in studying the scriptures has wavered recently. It's not that my testimony of it has lessened, I've just simply become lazy. These past few days, Ray has been a huge inspiration to me in his decision to be more spiritually minded. His actions directly affect mine, so seeing him reading every morning and reminding me that we have to pray every day has helped me get over myself and just pick the scriptures up and read.

So this morning I made sure to read the Book of Mormon. It was wonderful to feel the sense of fulfilment that comes from doing something you know you need to do and have been putting it off for a while. It was also fulfilling because I got new scriptures after I got married, so they're the equivalent to a blank canvas. I've already figured out how I wanted to mark them this time, so as I read, I'm able to mark them up, highlighting the things that are important and relevant to me at this stage of life I'm in right now as a wife and a soon-to-be mother.

Come to think of it... My spirituality is the most important thing I have to offer my son... Yeesh... The responsibility seems so overwhelming. I know that I need to take every opportunity that I can to strengthen my own testimony so that I can be better prepared to follow the Spirit to raise my child. Heaven knows how insufficiently equipped I am to raise a child properly without any Divine guidance. That leaves it up to me to qualify for that Divine guidance. No pressure right???... Ugh... I guess I just need to focus on doing what I can, and knowing that it'll all work out in the end.

I actually read something today on a friends blog that totally inspires me and gives me hope.

"Doing something is better than nothing... And while it wasn't much, it wasn't nothing."

I think this needs to become my new life's motto. Women have a ridiculous talent at coming up with a higher standard of "best" than they're able to accomplish, resulting in a never ending feeling of self-disappointment and regret. Feeling like that sucks, and I'm not exempt. So the trick is realizing that I am doing SOMETHING and that's better than nothing, so I'm good as long as I don't stop. In my heart, I know I'll be a good mother. But sometimes my head doesn't believe that.

The point of all that was that the Book of Mormon makes me happy.

2. Legit Mexican food also brings me happiness. Like a lot of happiness. haha. Today Ray took me to this amazing 24 hour Mexican restaurant where I had a carne asada burrito and a huge thing of horchata. Oh my gosh it was delicious and it's been over a year since I was able to have such happiness fill my belly. I've been incredibly thankful that I'm no longer sick because of my pregnancy, and today that gratitude was amplified ten fold. You think I'm exaggerating but I'm not. I am legitimately joyful as a result of that food. haha.

Anywho... Those are a couple things that reminded me of how happy they make me. Awesome.

Oh and PS.... I got home from my mission two years ago today... Holy cow.... Looking at these pictures of my last night in Arkansas and coming home at the airport is kind of crazy. A lot has happened since then.

And Ray's brother, Donny, got his mission call today to the Washington Spokane Mission and he's reporting in mid September.

Also it's my big brother's 5th anniversary today. Congrats to them!!!

This has sure been an eventful day. I just realized it right now. haha. Awesome.