Reality

It's finally sunk in.. I'm back in Canada and my life of loneliness commences. Blah... This is making me even more excited to have my baby. At least then I'll have a little one to keep me occupied. I guess he's keeping me semi occupied right now with all of this moving going on in my belly. It's kinda cool/slightly gross to watch my belly do all sorts of weird wobbles and twitching.

I try to get out every day which I think is doing me good, but it kinda gets old going out by myself all the time. I also have significantly less energy so I'm not really able to stay out all day anyways. By no means am I trying to seclude myself. My friends here are awesome and I try to see them regularly, but the reality of it is that I still spend more time by myself than I do with anyone else. Quite frankly, being lonely sucks.

I know you're prolly thinking that I should just put more effort into finding people to spend time, but that's not really the solution to the loneliness I'm feeling. Really, that void can only be filled by my husband. So I can spend time with my friends and it's always a good time, but it's not near as fulfilling as doing things with my friends AND my husband. I found that even when I was in Colorado and Ray was out working, even though we weren't physically together, it was the mere fact that we were within reach of each other that kept me from feeling this lonely feeling. Thankfully I get to hear from him every day so we can keep each other updated with our daily happenings. That's better than nothing and it helps me feel more involved in his day to day life.

As far as immigration is going... I've sent in all the documents they require from me. I had to send in original copies of my birth and marriage certificates though. That's kinda scary, but I called the immigration people and they said that I'll get them right back after the final interview. It's just a matter of when that's happening. Ray's still in the process of gathering all the stuff needed for his end of the paperwork with proving he makes enough money/has sufficient assets so that the government knows I won't be a welfare case. It's proving to be more difficult and complicated than I originally thought it would be though so I'm pretty stressed out about it. I can't do anything about it either, which makes it even worse. I just have to sit back and hope that Ray's able to get everything resolved in a timely manner. Then once he's got it all figured out and sent in, I'll be able to schedule and interview at the Consulate in Montreal. By then I'll have my baby too, so it'll be interesting travelling with a tiny baby. I asked my best friend if she'd wanna come with me though and it didn't take much convincing at all, so at least I know I'll have a babysitter. haha.

This whole immigration thing is getting really old. I know I need to be optimistic. I really try to be... but sometimes you just have to throw yourself a pity party and have a little cry fest and that provides the strength to make it to the next time a pity party and cry fest is in order... Sigh... I miss having a home to take care of and a husband to impress and to spend time doing nothing together... I'd take doing nothing with my husband over doing nothing by myself any day.

This is where I remind myself that this is only gonna last a few more months and then I never have to spend an extended period of time away from my husband again. *repeat until hope is restored...*....

Ugh......