How Do People Do It?

I don't get it. People move away from home all the time and I'm sure it's hard for them, but I'm seriously freaking out right now.

I've decided that I'm officially starting my trek to Colorado on November 21. That means in two weeks I'll be leaving my home, the place where I grew up, forever. To be perfectly honest, I'm more terrified than excited right now. Don't get me wrong. I'm way happy to be with my husband for good now and to have our little family together again, but it's really hard to be here in Canada and seeing the pain in my family's eyes when they're around me. They're all happy that I'm with them and that they get to play with Warren, but I can see it. In the back of their minds they're thinking about how they won't be able to see me in person and they won't be able to hold Warren soon. It breaks my heart to see the pain that me leaving is causing.

I'm so grateful for the understanding that everyone has that I need to be with my husband, but I'm so sorry for the hurt that it's causing them. I'm so thankful for technology that will be able to keep us connected. I will rely on that a lot.

Tonight we had a family dinner at my Grandma and Grandpa's and it was amazing. I had such a good time. Things like that are what I'm going to miss the most. I love being able to get together with my whole family each Sunday and just laugh and enjoy each other's company. It's going to be up to me to start new traditions with my family in Colorado but I fear it'll feel empty without the people I've had around me my whole life.

So how do people make it through this transition? How can I do this and not be so sad?? Bless my husband for being willing to put up with me post-family separation. He's a good man.

I'm so thankful at times like this for the Church because of the instant family it provides. Ray keeps telling me how excited the Ward is for me to be there, and I'm so thankful for people who are fully prepared to totally embrace me, both those I already know and love and those I don't but soon will.

These next two weeks will be full of emotion. I take comfort in the fact that I know I'll be coming back home to visit in September though to celebrate the homecoming of my amazing little missionary brother. Maybe if we're lucky, we might even be able to celebrate Warren's first birthday up here too. I can make it to September, and by then I'll have had more time to adjust to my new life and find joy in where I'm at.

This is the path I chose. I just didn't expect it to be so difficult. But I know Heavenly Father will help me along the way.