I needed that.

Finally decided to make a appearance on this blog!

I would like to tell you about a awesome experience that happened this weekend. On friday night I was contacted by Kayla Muraya. She was someone that found the gospel because we shared it with her. It was an amazing story of faith and action. We found her tracting the first week of the transfer and she was baptized within 6 weeks. As a missionary in the south, it was a miracle! As time went on she got married and has traveled the country with her husband Steve. Who is from Kenya. Way cool, I know. We spent a couple hours catching up over food. During our visit we went through my mission journals seeing what I wrote giving them my perspective of what happened. Which helped me realize the power of what I had done while a missionary. On your mission the whole point is to invite everyone that you see to come unto Christ. Hopefully that bears some sort of fruit. Since I came home I have thought a lot about that. I really want my life to be a example of living the gospel, touching peoples lives, and enjoying everything that happens along the way. The hard part about looking back is you cant see the end until it is the end. I have had times where I have felt my efforts didn't add up to much, outside of what it did for me. So, when Kayla said "If it wasn't for Stewart and you, I wouldn't be where I am now." She continued to elaborate on that explaining that because she joined the church. She went to Virginia selling pest control, which took her to Vegas, where she met her husband. Which has brought her a lot of joy. Just because Elder Stewart and I went tracking in our own apartment complex after planning meeting. A apartment complex that was tracted every time there were new Elders in the area. In fact we had to hide from the apartments managers from seeing us. We overcame the stigma that it had already been all knocked out. Because we did it caused this huge reaction that I wouldn't and couldn't have seen there or after my mission. The ripple effects of what happened aren't even done! That's what is crazy! I am so thankful for Steve & Kayla coming over! Its good to remember. 

-Ray

Too Fast

Pretty sure I'm in denial about moving... Every time I think about it, I push the thought away and out of my head. I'm afraid that in doing so I'm gonna have one big giant melt down, instead of just letting myself cry it out whenever the thought comes up.

I have stuff to blog about with my going to the Matthew Good concert on Tuesday, but I'm afraid that in doing so that's acknowledging my leaving Edmonton. That concert was so much about how my friendship with Monie has come full circle since our friendship really solidified because of concerts, particularly Matthew Good concerts. I guess I'm just not ready to let go of my home here in Canada yet, and writing about the things that I'm doing for the last time and to say goodbye make it too real that I'm leaving. Bah...

Ignoring things is just easier for now.

Monday is coming too fast...

How Do People Do It?

I don't get it. People move away from home all the time and I'm sure it's hard for them, but I'm seriously freaking out right now.

I've decided that I'm officially starting my trek to Colorado on November 21. That means in two weeks I'll be leaving my home, the place where I grew up, forever. To be perfectly honest, I'm more terrified than excited right now. Don't get me wrong. I'm way happy to be with my husband for good now and to have our little family together again, but it's really hard to be here in Canada and seeing the pain in my family's eyes when they're around me. They're all happy that I'm with them and that they get to play with Warren, but I can see it. In the back of their minds they're thinking about how they won't be able to see me in person and they won't be able to hold Warren soon. It breaks my heart to see the pain that me leaving is causing.

I'm so grateful for the understanding that everyone has that I need to be with my husband, but I'm so sorry for the hurt that it's causing them. I'm so thankful for technology that will be able to keep us connected. I will rely on that a lot.

Tonight we had a family dinner at my Grandma and Grandpa's and it was amazing. I had such a good time. Things like that are what I'm going to miss the most. I love being able to get together with my whole family each Sunday and just laugh and enjoy each other's company. It's going to be up to me to start new traditions with my family in Colorado but I fear it'll feel empty without the people I've had around me my whole life.

So how do people make it through this transition? How can I do this and not be so sad?? Bless my husband for being willing to put up with me post-family separation. He's a good man.

I'm so thankful at times like this for the Church because of the instant family it provides. Ray keeps telling me how excited the Ward is for me to be there, and I'm so thankful for people who are fully prepared to totally embrace me, both those I already know and love and those I don't but soon will.

These next two weeks will be full of emotion. I take comfort in the fact that I know I'll be coming back home to visit in September though to celebrate the homecoming of my amazing little missionary brother. Maybe if we're lucky, we might even be able to celebrate Warren's first birthday up here too. I can make it to September, and by then I'll have had more time to adjust to my new life and find joy in where I'm at.

This is the path I chose. I just didn't expect it to be so difficult. But I know Heavenly Father will help me along the way.

My Kid is Fun

So now that Warren has reached a stage where he's actually interactive, I've started recording videos of him. I'm such a typical mother. haha.

This week Warren has started playing in the tub. He used to just lay there in the water and look at me with this "what the heck are you doing to me" look. Now he's discovered that when he kicks, something actually happens. He's actually a bit camera shy in this video but normally, he's got a look of complete bliss on his face when he's kicking around in the water. But this video is still ridiculously cute.

I also went to Babies R Us yesterday to find a rattle for Warren. They have pink rattles, but they don't have any boy rattles. I was disappointed. They DID however have JOLLY JUMPERS!!! Those things are the best, and I know when I was really little that I LOVED it. So because it was on sale, my agency was taken away and I HAD to buy it. hahaha. It took him a little bit, but he eventually started figuring it out. Enjoy. My kid is amazing.

Final Step. Calgary.

My kid is already more travelled than his father. He's two months old. Thank you immigration(???).

Yesterday was a big day. I drove to Calgary at 3:30am in order to make it to the US Consulate there for my 8:30 appointment. Yes I realize I left 5 hours early, but I knew I would be stopping to feed Warren before we got there, and I also knew I would be dealing with rush hour traffic on Deerfoot Trail... It made sense to me. Good thing too. I ended up getting to the Consulate at 7:50. Perfect timing because I wanted to be there by 8:00am at the latest. I needed to report Warren's birth as a US citizen born outside of the US, apply for his passport and his social security number.

The drive there was... dark... 3:30am is a time I'm not usually acquainted with, especially on the road. There was minimal traffic, so things went pretty smoothly. Warren was out cold in his carseat thanks to my amazing mom who tried her hardest to keep him awake in the hours before we left while I got in some much needed preparatory sleep.

I stopped in Red Deer, parked in a deserted Staples parking lot (because it was 5:30am) to feed Warren and decided that I would just try to find a place in Calgary to change him. That plan was good in theory. After continuing on the rest of the trip, with Warren falling into a milk coma almost immediately, I had to deal with my first snow storm of the year. It was scary... and dark... so all the snow flakes reflecting the light from my headlights and those of the pre rush hour traffic didn't help with my visibility. I was a trooper though. A responsible one at that. I slowed down to ensure the safety of me and my child. I feel like I experienced the protective mother instinct in full force as I was driving through that crazy snow storm. I hit full on rush hour traffic once I got to Balzac. (That's right. Balzac. My favourite place to celebrate with my friends via text. "BALZAC!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!") Thanks to my handy dandy GPS, I was directed exactly to where I needed to go.

Since I'm not too familiar with Calgary unless it's to get to Peter's Drive In or getting to Banff, I couldn't tell by the address that the Consulate was right in the middle of downtown until I got there. Downtown = Terrible parking. I was simultaneously trying to figure out which building it was after the GPS told me I had arrived at the destination and trying to find parking. I ended up pulling into this random private parking lot just to get my bearings and prepare for my next attempt at finding public parking. Then a security guard came up to me because I had invaded his territory. haha. I told him I was looking for the Consulate and he said I was close and would direct me to the right place. Then he stopped and thought a bit, then told me I could park there and directed me to a stall. After getting everything situated and prepared to get into the Consulate (baby in sling, papers, diapers and wipes, wallet in purse) the security guard pointed to the building and told me it would be $10 to park there. I kinda did a double take, and then thought to myself that he was probably just gonna pocket that $10 for himself. haha. But I thought, whatever. It would be just as expensive no matter where I parked. Good on that guy for seizing the opportunity.

So the building that the Consulate is in is completely unmarked. The address isn't even on the outside of the building. Dad said that's probably done on purpose to deter anti-Americans. haha. I guess... You can always count on Americans to be overly cautious with their security.

My plan was to try to feed Warren a bit and change him before I went in so he would be happy, but that ended up not happening. A line was already starting to form when I got there and I learned in Montreal that you don't wanna be far back in the line because that means more waiting. More waiting with a little baby = potentially bad. I was told that I wasn't allowed to bring any bags or purses inside the Consulate, and could check it at this deli place that was across the hall. I didn't really have any choice, even though I had made sure to take only what I needed and put it in my purse before I went in. I went to the deli place and emptied everything out of my purse (wallet, papers, diapers, nursing cover, and spit up blanket) and had to pay $5 for them to hold my empty purse. Dealing with all that loose stuff and a baby isn't the easiest thing ever...

I had to go through airport equivalent security, which meant taking Warren out of the sling, and going through a metal detector, then going to sign in with a lady that told me I needed an Express Post envelope so the things I was applying for could get mailed back to me. So I went to another place in the lobby of the building where I paid $15 for this envelope. After telling all this to my Dad, he said "Wow. Their economy must REALLY be struggling then". haha. Anyways. I went back to the Consulate and they made me go through the metal detector AGAIN, so I had to take Warren out of the sling, blah blah blah, all over again. The difficulty level was increased by the amount of loose things I had to hold on to because of my lack of purse.

I was lead by another security guard to the elevators, and once I got off, oh guess what... ANOTHER METAL DETECTOR!!! This guy was nice though and didn't make me take Warren out of the sling again. He gave me a number, and FINALLY I was in. I had the second number so my wait wasn't very long.  When I was called up, I was quite pleased that the lady that was helping me was very kind. She asked for all of the stuff she needed, and thanks to my experience in Montreal, I was fully equipped. When she asked for the proof that Ray has lived in the States for at least 5 years of his life (which is what I didn't have in Montreal), I handed over this stack of papers that Ray had sent to me, and she got wide eyed. haha. It was awesome. She was impressed with my preparedness. She went to photocopy everything, and I went to pay for everything (not cheap), then I had to sign some things and TAH DAH!!! All finished! I was told that the passport and report of birth certificate would be mailed to me within two weeks and his social security card will be mailed to our apartment in Colorado in a couple months.

I'm SOOO relieved that everything is finally finished. I've got all my papers, and Warren's are coming right away. I can officially start planning my great exodus... That's not without lots of emotions ranging the entire spectrum though. I'm so happy to finally be able to be with my husband permanently, but I'm freaked out more than I can express at the thought of being away from my mom, the rest of my family and my friends that I've had for years. I'm gonna suddenly change rolls and I'll be the one in charge of Sunday meals. No more showing up at my parents and being fed. I feel like I'm just walking into a lot of responsibility and change all at once, so it's really overwhelming. I'm just glad I'll have my husband to support me, and our little family will be able to grow together. I know I've already got great friends in Colorado waiting for me, and I know I'll make great new friends. It's just a lot of scary change that's freaking me out pretty bad...

But life must go on. And as of now I'm tentatively planning on leaving on November 21. I'm driving down, and plan on making it a 3 day trip, which means I'll be there to celebrate American Thanksgiving. Since Warren needs to eat every four hours, it'll be a good way to make sure I stop and rest. He's such an amazing traveller. I'm really blessed to have the baby I do.

I'll accept any and all prayers asking for strength to make this transition smoothly. I need all the strength I can get. Thanks friends. :)