Pink Inside

I think this is what my English teachers wanted me to do all along in High School. Read a book. Care about it. Write about it. Unfortunately, the teachers never chose books that captivated me, so all my reports were done after I had skimmed through the book and asked others in the class what the book was about. haha. It worked well for me though. Writing has always come naturally to me, so I was able to take my vague knowledge and make it sound like I knew what I was talking about. I know I shouldn't be... but I'm proud of that skill.

Since I don't have people telling me to read boring books anymore, every time I do choose to read, it's always something that I have a huge interest in. Then I actually read the book, comprehend what it's about, and am thoroughly entertained. Sometimes I even stumble upon a book that ignites a fire inside of me because it's about something I'm really passionate about.

Lately there's been a lot of talk in the media about this book turned movie called The Help. I heard that it was about the relationships between black maids and the white families they worked for in the 1960's. I was immediately interested and told my mom about it. Next thing I know, she'd bought the book for me. haha. I have the best mom ever.

I just finished reading it, and I find myself reflecting a lot on my experiences as a missionary in Arkansas. The book itself is based in Mississippi, but Arkansas is still the South. The same sort of mentalities and attitudes exist/existed there too.

Growing up in Canada, the idea of racism was totally foreign to me. I didn't realize that people still carried those sorts of attitudes with them. I sure wasn't exposed to anyone who (at least outwardly) shared racist feelings. I mean... There was my Great Grandma, but she was 104 and had kind of a bit lost her filters when she talked about the foreign nurses that cared for her in the hospital she lived in. But 104 years is a long time for things to change, so I pretty much disregarded her words about "the foreigners" because I think she was living in a different time in her head, which wasn't the actual time we were in.

Then I go to Arkansas, and a whole new world opened up to me. I start teaching these amazing black people who would come up with every excuse not to come to Church with us just because they didn't wanna be the only black person there, and they didn't want to be stared at or felt unwelcome. To me that was a bogus thing to think so I didn't really take that excuse seriously at all. It kinda made me frustrated because no matter how much I told them that no one would be staring at them or wishing they would leave, they just wouldn't believe me. And even when they gave me the benefit of the doubt and did come to Church, they still felt that they were being stared at. I always watched the Ward members and I didn't see anyone stare. In fact, what I saw were smiles because of the diversity that they brought and the potential for more to come because of that one person taking a chance to be there. It just wasn't taken that way most of the time.

For the longest time I couldn't wrap my head around this. In Canada, there aren't too many black people, but we have an incredibly diverse population who seem to interact reasonably well. But what I was seeing in Arkansas was total segregation. Not because it was being forced upon them by law enforcement or government, but because they were segregating themselves. Our black investigators were asking us if our Church had black congregations so they wouldn't have to go to Church with the white people... Our Church just doesn't work that way... Our Church doesn't see people as a color. The world has definitely made some huge changes to the equality of every human being in the last 50 years, but I started to discover that even though the world's view had changed, didn't necessarily mean that the people themselves had changed.

Ever since seeing this, it's always disturbed me. How could some black people still hold so much anger towards white people, and how could white people still be ignorant enough to believe that they were better than anyone else darker than them? Thankfully I met very few ignorant white people... outwardly ignorant at least... but I sure did see a lot of Confederate Flags flying around, which made me wonder what people were truly thinking and not saying. That's a scary thought for me...

I guess when I think about it, I can see why black people could hold grudges and be angry at white people. Their ancestors were the ones being treated like dirt, so why should they believe that things are different now? Just because the laws are different doesn't mean the minds are too... But at the same time, that mentality of anger and resentment doesn't invite growth. It stunts their progress and holding that kind of anger inside for so long, whether it's taught by their parents or learned some other way, is just not healthy. I can't imagine living life being so permanently angry at a general population for something that wasn't done to me directly. Mind you... I don't know what they go through on a daily basis, so maybe they really are still treated terribly and their mentality is justified. Maybe white people put on a show for us missionaries to prove how Christian they were. Hope not...

Anyways... I guess this whole issue is a two way street. Both sides have to let go of their ridiculous ideas and be willing to look at every person a child of God who is equal to them... Forgiveness will need to happen and mentalities will need a complete overhaul. Unfortunately, those changes are very individual and personal. People can only change their own minds in the end.

So what can I do about it? I know I can't change the minds of the masses, but I am thankful for things like this book, The Help, for bringing awareness to the issue. Maybe if racism wasn't a silenced issue, and people saw how ugly a person it makes you to think rasist thoughts, and more people started showing intolerance for it, then there really could be a mass influence for good. It's not acceptable for racism to just be part of how things are. That is not how God intended us to be. God really does love us all the same. He wants the best for all of us, and there's nothing that anyone can do to put themselves above anyone else to Him. Maybe if more people understood the TRUE nature of God, it would change how people understood each other.

That really is it. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of peace and love. Intolerance is not part of Heavenly Father's plan.

The world really has made some wonderful progress in allowing equality. It's the people that need to catch up and quit being dumb. And even though I'm just one person, I still have a voice, and I can still be a good example. The more people who aren't afraid to stand up for things that are so wrong, the better. Tolerance for terrible attitudes needs to stop. Things really can be better. I hope to be the type of person that doesn't stand idly by when I see terrible things happen to good people just because they're different, and I hope to teach my son to be that way too.

Really... when you think about it... We're all pink inside...